No matter where you are in the divorce process you may find it is a difficult, expensive, and at times exhausting process. People love to throw advice at you—watch every penny, never use your credit card, stop buying anything that isn’t absolutely necessary. Everyone says you have to budget, budget, BUDGET and be careful with your money.
Sure, those are smart guidelines. But let’s be honest, trying to survive divorce without a little joy? Depriving yourself of all the things that make life fun? That’s a recipe for burnout. You’re holding it all together for yourself and your kids during a difficult time. You need to have things to look forward to and you need to find ways to keep things fun!
Yes, you need to be responsible with your money. But you also need space to breathe, laugh, and feel good. You can do both. You can manage your spending and create small moments of joy to help carry you through one of the hardest seasons of your life.
The “deprivation mindset” is where good intentions go to die. You’ve probably heard the budget police shouting that you should only eat rice and beans, never eat out, and cancel every single splurge until all your debts are paid. They want you to be ashamed of getting your nails done when money is tight.
But here’s the truth: living like that long term? It’s not realistic, and it’s not healthy.
You are allowed to find joy within your means.
Here’s what I recommend to help you budget, use your funds wisely, and also give yourself the joy you need to keep moving:
- Prioritize What Truly Matters: Figure out what lights you up. Maybe it’s a weekend getaway, a creative hobby, or treating yourself to something small and meaningful. Pick the things that matter most, and put those at the top of your list. When you know your priorities, it becomes easier to say no to everything else.
- Budget With Joy In Mind: Build a budget that includes small “happy” expenses. You may not be able to do everything you love right now, but you can probably treat yourself once a month or plan for something special later in the year. That kind of intentional spending gives you something to look forward to without throwing your whole budget off track.
- Avoid Impulse Spending: Divorce brings stress, and stress can lead to unplanned purchases. We’ve all been there. But the more you avoid those spur-of-the-moment buys, the more room you’ll have for the things that actually bring you joy. A little planning goes a long way here. If you get the urge to buy something unexpectedly, give yourself a few days to think it over before you actually make the purchase.
- Choose Quality over Quantity: During divorce and post-divorce, your financial outlook and future can look drastically different than what you anticipated. This is an ideal time to consider quality experiences and items over quantity. If having a fancy coffee at the corner coffee shop truly makes you happy, you don’t have to eliminate it all together. Maybe instead of getting one each day, you get one a week. You haven’t completely eliminated it from your life, you’ve just come up with a way to enjoy it without spending as much money. And that occasional treat will probably taste even better than the one you had every day.
- Save for Something Bigger: Give yourself something exciting to work toward. Maybe it’s a vacation after your divorce is final, or something meaningful you’ve always wanted. Even small amounts saved over time can add up. Having a dream to look forward to makes it easier to stay on track now.
- Focus on Experiences, Not Stuff: As you begin to build a new life, consider putting your money toward experiences that create positive memories. A hike with your kids, a night out with a friend, or a day trip somewhere new can do more for your spirit than a new pair of shoes ever could.
- Find Daily Joy (That Doesn’t Break the Bank): Not everything that brings you joy has to cost money. A walk in the fresh air, a call with a friend, a weekly coffee date… these simple moments can make a huge difference. When life feels hard, even the smallest sparks of joy can help you keep going.
Divorce is tough. It affects every part of your life, including your finances. But that doesn’t mean you have to punish yourself or deprive yourself of moments of happiness. You can be smart with your money and allow yourself small joys along the way. This is not just about surviving. It’s about building the life you want to live next.
