Some common tactics a narcissist may use during a divorce to financially abuse their partner include:

• Withholding financial support: The narcissist may refuse to pay for household expenses, car loans, or his wife’s living expenses, leaving them struggling to make ends meet. This is especially prevalent if you’ve been a stay-at-home mom. They know you can’t afford to pay your own living expenses, and will try to hurt you (both financially and emotionally) by putting you in financial distress.
• Hidden assets: He may hide assets, transfer money into secret accounts, or undervalue his assets to reduce the amount of money he has to pay in a divorce settlement. The narcissist is probably telling you that the money is “all his” because he earned it and you aren’t entitled to anything. (He’s wrong, by the way.)
• Controlling access to funds: The narcissist may control the access to joint bank accounts, credit cards, or other financial resources, leaving their partner without access to the money they need to live. So not only is he not paying support as mentioned above, he’s also cutting you off from your joint funds so you can’t use those to stay afloat either.
• Sabotaging credit: It is common for the narcissist to intentionally damage his partner’s credit by running up debt on joint accounts, not paying important bills, or engaging in other damaging financial behavior. It’s common for them to let the house go into foreclosure, knowing that their wife can’t ever catch up on the payments.
• Using the legal system: The narcissist may use the legal system to his advantage by dragging out the divorce proceedings, running up legal fees, and making it difficult for his wife to get a fair settlement. Legal abuse when divorcing a narcissist is all too common.

• Gather financial records: Gather as much financial information as possible, including bank statements, credit reports, and other important financial documents.
• Get professional help: Consider hiring a financial advisor, forensic accountant, or divorce financial strategist to help you navigate the complex financial landscape of a divorce.
• Open separate accounts: Open separate bank accounts and credit cards to ensure that you have access to your own funds and credit.
• Keep track of expenses: Keep detailed records of all household expenses, bills, and other financial transactions to ensure that you are not being taken advantage of.

Be prepared for a fight. Expect that the narcissist will use his financial resources and savvy to manipulate the situation and make it difficult for you to get a fair settlement. Get the best people on your team who will advocate for you and your rights, including a family lawyer, a divorce coach, and maybe even a forensic accountant.

Remember that financial abuse is a form of domestic violence, and you have the right to protect yourself and your assets. You do not have to endure this abuse, and there are resources available to help you. If you are experiencing financial abuse, reach out to a local domestic violence organization for support.

Financial abuse by a narcissist during divorce is a common and devastating form of abuse. The tactics used by a narcissist to manipulate and control their partner can be complex and difficult to navigate. By taking proactive steps to secure your financial future, you can protect yourself from financial abuse and regain control of your life.

To start understanding how you can protect yourself when getting divorced from someone who has narcissistic behaviors, get our resource, Divorcing a Narcissist.