When you are caught in the whirlwind of divorce, the idea of having a clear strategy might feel impossible. Maybe you are just trying to survive each day and keep your head above water. I understand that feeling. But I want to talk to you about taking a pause, getting grounded, and preparing yourself in a way that does more than help you survive. I want you to have a plan that helps you thrive.
Today, I am sharing three things you can start thinking about right now. You can do this.
Why Strategy Matters
If you have spent years or even decades building a life with someone, shifting your mindset to focus on strategy can feel uncomfortable. You might feel like this is not who you are. You might just want things to be fair and reasonable.
But here is the hard truth. Divorce rarely ends up being fair. After more than 25 years in this work, I can tell you that it is often women who come up short when it comes time to divide the money.
It is sad but true. Divorce requires negotiation, preparation, and the ability to stay focused, even when it feels uncomfortable. You need to be strategic if you want to receive the assets and financial support you are entitled to. One way to make this easier is to think of your divorce as a business transaction. This mindset shift can help you stay clear about what you need and make sure you walk away with the resources to rebuild your life.
Tip #1: Calculating Income
If your divorce will include child support or alimony, you have to calculate income correctly. If the numbers are wrong, your support payments will be too.
How will you figure this out? You need to gather all sources of income for yourself and your spouse. This step can be tricky, especially if you suspect your husband is not telling the whole truth about what he earns or is hiding income. Be thorough. Think through every possible source: wages, bonuses, commissions, investment income, rental income, or anything else that brings in money.
Tip #2: Calculating Support
Once you have accurate income information, your attorney can help you calculate support based on your state’s guidelines. Every state has its own rules for child support and alimony, so do not rely on what friends or strangers online tell you. Your lawyer will know exactly how this works where you live.
Support payments are meant to help level the playing field, especially if there is a big gap in earnings between spouses. Each state’s approach is different, and you will need to get familiar with your state’s rules. Make sure you share detailed information with your lawyer about your finances, your children’s needs, and your lifestyle. This will make it easier to figure out what you can expect and start planning your budget for life after divorce.
If you need help finding a lawyer, our course Finding the Right ATTORNEY will walk you through choosing the right one.
Tip #3: Setting Expectations
Divorce is rarely neat and tidy. There will be ups and downs, and it helps to set your expectations early. You need to understand two things. First, what the law says you should get. Second, what your lawyer believes you will get based on your unique situation.
Judges have a lot of discretion when they make decisions. What you actually receive may be different from what you expect by just reading the law.
Ask your lawyer these questions:
- What is my best case scenario?
- What is my worst case scenario?
- What is the most likely outcome based on cases like mine?
Attorneys are not psychic and do not have crystal balls, but they can give you an idea of what judges usually do in cases like yours. By setting your expectation properly from the start, you will be less likely to be disappointed or blindsided when your divorce is final.
Taking the time to create a strategy is one of the best gifts you can give yourself right now. You deserve clarity and a plan that protects you and your future.
