He picks the kids up and whisks them away to theme parks, buys the latest gadgets before they even hit store shelves, and never says no to dessert, souvenirs, or shopping sprees. To the kids, he’s the fun parent. To you, it feels like he’s trying to buy their loyalty (and maybe distract you from what’s really going on).
This is the “Disney Dad” effect. It’s not about creating special memories for the kids. It’s about control, image, and keeping you off balance during and after the divorce. And if you’re not careful, it can cost you far more than your peace of mind.
What’s Really Going On
In many divorces, one parent uses over-the-top spending as a way to influence how the kids see them. It can be about easing guilt, feeding their ego, or distracting everyone from the financial reality.
Meanwhile, the other parent (often the one managing the day-to-day needs)is left paying for the real costs of raising kids: housing, food, clothes, activities, school expenses, healthcare. Those bills don’t make for glamorous social media posts, but they are what keep life stable for your children.
The danger is that while you’re feeling frustrated and trying to keep up, your ex may also be maneuvering financially:downplaying assets, hiding money, or avoiding responsibility for shared expenses.
Three Ways Disney Dad’s Tactics Can Hurt You
1. He Shifts the Financial Narrative
If you aren’t fully involved in understanding your marital finances, he may take advantage of that gap. Whether it’s undervaluing property or omitting accounts entirely, this can leave you with far less than you’re entitled to.
2. He Uses Guilt as Leverage
When you push for fair financial arrangements, he may accuse you of being greedy or ungrateful. This is designed to make you back down. Remember, standing up for yourself is not selfish. It’s necessary.
3. He Distracts You from Long-Term Goals
Lavish spending now can make it harder to focus on the bigger picture. Divorce is about securing your future, not competing over short-term wins. If you start matching his spending to “keep up,” you risk draining the resources you need to stay secure.
How to Protect Your Position
You can’t control how your ex spends his money, but you can make sure his behavior doesn’t derail your divorce strategy.
- Know the full financial picture. Get copies of bank statements, tax returns, retirement accounts, and property records before they disappear.
- Separate your money. Have accounts in your name only so your access to funds can’t be cut off.
- Stay focused on your goals. Competing with extravagance is a losing game. Put your energy into stability, not showmanship.
- Challenge anything that feels off. If something doesn’t add up financially, don’t ignore it.
The Smartest Way to Win This Game
Disney Dad’s tactics might make him look good in the short term, but your power lies in being strategic. The outcome of your divorce will shape your finances for years, and you only get one chance to get it right.
That’s why I created the Divorce STRATEGY Guide… to help you be smart, be strategic, and win your divorce. Inside, you’ll find the exact steps to take so you stay in control, protect your interests, and secure your future.
