Marrying after 50 is a beautiful thing. For many of us, it’s the love we didn’t know we’d ever find. It’s a time to really soak it all in and enjoy it.
But let’s be honest, marriage after 50 can also get a little complicated. For many, this is a second marriage and they have kids, grandkids, ex-spouses, aging parents, pensions, Social Security… there is a lot going on.
Before you walk down the aisle, you need to talk about money. And not just the fun stuff like where you are going on vacation. Here is a financial checklist to help you cover what matters before saying “I do” (again).
1. Lay It All Out on the Table
Before you merge lives, you have got to open the books. No secrets. No guessing. You should both share everything: bank accounts, investments, debts, credit scores.
This is not a one-and-done conversation. Try setting up “money dates” over coffee or a glass of wine. Talk about one thing at a time. Keep it relaxed and honest. This is not about judgment. It is about understanding what each of you is bringing to the table.
One couple I know pulled up their financial apps and swapped phones. Bold move, but it worked for them.
2. Talk About Your Money Habits
Everyone handles money a little differently. One person might save every penny. The other might be a generous gift-giver who cannot pass up a kitchen gadget. Before you combine your lives, talk about:
- Who will pay the bills
- Whether you will combine accounts, keep them separate, or do a little of both
- How you feel about helping out adult kids or aging parents
- How you want to handle holidays, gifts, and spending limits
Do not assume your new spouse will handle money the way your last one did. And do not assume he or she knows how you do things either.
3. Know How Marriage Changes Your Income
Remarrying can mess with your finances in ways you might not expect, especially when it comes to:
- Social Security: If you are widowed and remarry before 60, you might lose survivor benefits. If you wait until after 60, you may still qualify.
- Alimony: If you are getting spousal support, it will probably stop when you remarry.
- Taxes: Filing jointly could save you money—or cost you more. Do the math before you say “I do.”
Talk to a tax professional or financial advisor who knows the rules. You do not want any surprises.
4. Look at Your Health Insurance and Other Coverage
Health care is a big deal, especially after 50. Before you get married, check who has the better health insurance, whether you will save money by switching to one plan, and what to do about things like life insurance and long-term care insurance. One woman I know saved $5,000 a year just by switching to her husband’s health plan. That is a lot of money back in her pocket.
5. Update Your Estate Plan
If you have children or grandchildren, you need to be extra careful here. Remarriage can change everything when it comes to where your money goes. You should update your will and trusts, review the beneficiaries on your retirement accounts and insurance policies, and think about how to protect your kids’ inheritance. This is so tricky when each of you have children to consider.
6. Think About a Prenup
A prenup is not just for rich people. And it does not mean you think the marriage will not last. It is a smart way to say, “Let’s be clear about what happens if things do not go as planned.” A prenup can protect:
- Retirement savings
- A home you owned before the marriage
- Inheritances for your children
- Debt, spousal support, and more
Bringing it up might feel awkward. But it is worth it. You could say something like, “I have been reading about prenups. Maybe we should talk about it?”
7. Get Help From Professionals
You do not have to figure all of this out on your own. Professionals like a financial advisor, an estate planning attorney, a tax preparer, and a therapist or mediator (for the tough conversations) can be extremely helpful.
The goal is simple: Make a plan that protects both of you. The fewer surprises later, the better.
Getting Married After 50 Is Different
If you are choosing to get married in your 50s, 60s, or later, you are doing it because you want to… not because you have to. But love alone will not handle your bills or settle a messy estate fight.
Talk early. Plan smart. Protect what matters most. That way you can enjoy the good stuff, and deal with whatever life throws your way together.
