Who Gets More Money in a Divorce?

Around the country, divorce is supposed to be set up so that there are fair financial outcomes for both the husband and the wife. Each state has its own set of laws for dividing up the money in divorce, but the general idea is that the assets are divided either equally or equitably.

The reality of divorce for women is different from the intent of the laws, however.

When spouses separate, the available financial resources for each household go down and the costs go up. Expenses are no longer shared with another adult, and often there are new expenses as a result of the separation: divorce attorneys, additional child care, need for a new car, another set of clothing for the kids, etc.

According to the Government Accountability Office, divorced women have a 41% decrease in household income, while the decline in household income for men is only about half of that.

Why?

The biggest reason why women's household income is so much lower than men's is that women more often reduce or leave their careers to raise children. When they get divorced, they are in the position of having to rely on child support and alimony or they must restart their careers (often being far behind in expected earnings.)

Men are much more likely to be the breadwinner in the family, and the continued to develop their careers and increase their earnings during the marriage. Nothing changes for them after divorce.

They continue to earn much more money than their ex-wives, and the support payments they may make to their ex are usually not a hardship. (On the other hand, the support payments received by women is often insufficient to provide for the needs of the new family.)

Women more often end up providing the majority of child care responsibilities after divorce. Even though most states start with a presumption that the children should be shared 50/50 by the parents, women most often end up with a greater share of parenting time due to preferences of the parents.

This impacts mom's ability to work, as she has to be more available for the children and therefore may seek a job with reduced or more flexible work hours. Simply put, she can't work as much or earn as much as if there was equal parenting time. The unequal parenting time also means that mom is paying more of the direct costs of the children, providing more food, clothing, personal care, and entertainment for them than dad does... all costs that add up quickly.

Asset division in the divorce often ends up being unfair as well. Women usually end up with less than 50% of the marital assets, even though divorce laws give the appearance that there will be an equal or equitable division of the assets. So women enter post-divorce life with less in savings, which impacts their ability to acquire assets or retire in the future.

Overall, the economics of a woman's life decrease after divorce. Her ex-husband's economic quality of life goes up based on his higher earnings and his lower living expenses (because he has the children less often and bears fewer family expenses).

The best way to protect yourself financially during divorce is to ensure that you get the fairest possible settlement. You need to know everything about your family's money and fight for what is yours.